


2006 World Figure Skating Championships- Men's Free Skate- Christophe Giacommeti, "Dirrty"

by spookyfoot



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Crack, Gen, quad arms race, quad squad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 03:35:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10733301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyfoot/pseuds/spookyfoot
Summary: Chris skates to Christina Aguilera's "Dirrty".





	2006 World Figure Skating Championships- Men's Free Skate- Christophe Giacommeti, "Dirrty"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ken_ichijouji (dommific)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dommific/gifts).



> I blame my love of the song "Dirrty" and ken_ichijouji's amazing fic [Cause I'm a Taker, 'Cause I'm a Giver, It's Only Nature](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9173269/chapters/20825470) for putting the idea of Chris doing this song as his free skate...at some point.

**Scott Hamilton** : Representing Palladium de Champery in Valais, Switzerland, ladies and gentleman, Christophe Giacometti!

 **Terry Gannon** : Think about the history there, Lambiel, Silber, Grutter, there’s no doubt that Giacometti is poised to define the future of Swiss Men’s Singles Figure Skating.

 **Scott Hamilton** : Giacometti is skating to [long pause] Christina Aguilera’s “Dirrty”. Giacometti has asked us to note that dirty is spelled with two “r”’s.

 **Terry Gannon** : Well, this is…certainly a unique music choice. Though it fits this year’s theme of “Sensuality,”.

 

_[Dirrty begins playing]_

 

 **Scott Hamilton** : Giacometti has certainly evolved from his first season in Men’s Seniors.

 **Terry Gannon** : He’s still got his beautiful footwork and fluid crossovers though.

 **Scott Hamilton** : Here we go, first quad. A quad lutz! The only other skater to land a ratified quad lutz in competition is, of course, Victor Nikiforov.

 **Terry Gannon** : Nikiforov landed his lutz two seasons ago, accelerating the quad arms race.

 **Scott Hamilton** : Triple flip, triple toe combination, very clean.

 **Terry Gannon** : Not to mention his passionate choreography.

 

_[Chris places the tip of his index finger in his mouth and then trails it down his chest]_

 

 **Scott Hamilton** : Giacometti has three quads in his arsenal, and has mentioned his desire to add the flip next season.

 **Terry Gannon** : If he does, you know Nikiforov will land the Loop, just to keep everyone on their toes.

 **Scott Hamilton** : I’m interested to see how the very…modern footwork and body movements are scored.

 

_[on the ice, Chris caresses his ass and does a full body roll]_

 

 **Terry Gannon** : I think we all are.

 

_[Chris drops it low, then rises for a spread eagle entry to a triple axel]_

 

 **Scott Hamilton** : Oh he stumbled a bit on the landing there, but to be fair that’s a difficult entry.

 **Terry Gannon** : A bit of a Nikiforov specialty. You think Giacometti’s issuing a challenge?

 **Scott Hamilton** : Absolutely, he’s basically screaming it in to a megaphone.

 

_[Chris flutters his eyelashes at the judges as he skates by then during a series of crossovers]_

 

 **Terry Gannon** : Oh, we’re coming up to the last quad, a Quad Salchow!

 **Scott Hamilton** : Perfect landing, absolutely textbook. Giacometti’s always had a clean Salchow though.

 

_[Chris spanks his ass before going into a his final spin]_

 

 **Terry Gannon** : A very nice flying sit spin, and very…passionate choreography.

 **Scott Hamilton** : He was certainly….throwing elbows, as the song said.

 

 _[Chris poses, finger in mouth, to a loud silence and then a growing wave of applause]_.

 

 **Scott Hamilton** : And now for our commercial break! We’ll see you in a few minutes, when everyone’s favorite, Victor Nikiforov takes the ice.

 

_[commerical break]_

 

 **Terry Gannon** : Did we just watch soft core porn?

 **Scott Hamilton** : There was nothing soft about that.

 **Terry Gannon** : Amen, thank god for dance belts.

 **Scott Hamilton** : Knowing Giacometti, he’d probably have preferred to go without.

 **Terry Gannon** : I feel bad for whoever has to clean the ice.

 

_[commercial ends]_

 

 **Scott Hamilton** : And we're back! Victor Nikiforov is getting ready to take the ice...

**Author's Note:**

> i can't believe you read this, my hero <3
> 
> I'm on [tumblr](http://katsukiyuuristrophyhusband.tumblr.com) if for some reason this ridiculous crack fic speaks to your soul.


End file.
